went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
