What a fucking waste of an outfit
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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