Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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