Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
