i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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