conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
