Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So vagazzling was a success
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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