I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
