Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
