I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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