Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
