I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My feet surprised me
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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