im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
