Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
