I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
