I don't think brook has ever known best
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
