this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
