she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
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