Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
