Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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