Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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