Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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