I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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