did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
