So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize