i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
