i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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