It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
