HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
