Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
