it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
