Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
