That's intense
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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