sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
