let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Actions speak louder than pants.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize