I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
