Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize