Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
