I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
third nipple confirmed
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
