U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize