Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
