yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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