I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
