the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
