He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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