i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We named our party play list daddy issues
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
