in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
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