I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
