used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
