well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just forgot I was standing up.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
