I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize