Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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