I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
