Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
