Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
