Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
