You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
