ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
